We just celebrated 12 years of marriage and I couldn’t be happier or more grateful for how life has changed with this man in it. I still cherish the early days of falling in love, he was QUITE the romantic. The running jealousy/commentary with my friends was that I tended to get flowers about every 3 weeks! With sweet notes written, creative dates planned, poetry written for me, gifts carefully selected from things he knew I loved, it was EASY to fall for this guy because clearly he had fallen for me!
Around month 6 of dating he took me on a drive/picnic. We headed up to Sedona and it was there up on a beautiful hill he gave me a sweet poem written just for me. Marriage was something we talked about as a possibility in the future, but this night as we celebrated Valentines, he changed the conversation a little. He said something a little like, “I don’t care about the “when”, but I’m wondering if we can get the “if” out of the way?” WHOA…this had my wheels spinning, we needed to make some decisions and I was so in love, but so apprehensive. He put me on a pedestal, loved me so much and made it SO EASY, and for some reason without the usual game playing in our relationship, that made me really have to question if this was it, if HE was it (and seriously, why does there have to be game play in dating?? I should have just appreciated there wasn’t any!). After many weeks of soul searching and prayer from both of us, the decision had been made and a LONG few months later he proposed on Memorial Weekend. I was ecstatic, comfortable and had never been happier. There was a skip in our step when we’d see each other at the end of the day and we both sure loved every minute of time we had together.
Three kids and many ups and downs later our relationship is definitely not what is once was. It’s ALMOST comical how little we can talk until after about 9pm. We try to have a conversation after he comes home or during the dinner hour, but usually give up after about the 10th interruption! Since he was always SO romantic and thoughtful, I was certain I’d always have that from him…and since then I’ve often joked that he schmoozed me and then dropped the romance as soon as we got married. It is true, the security of marriage took away some of the sweet moments that won me over early on, but the reality is, they really all just took on a new form and I truly can’t complain one bit.
We’ve exchanged the surprise flower planting at my old roommate house for consistent yard care in which I’m never asked or expected to participate. The almost daily emails and sweet notes have been traded for the occasional “I love you” text messages and the always available listening ear. I can feel it in the weekly late night store runs for something I haven’t gotten…always without complaint. It’s in the help with the dinner dishes and the nightly time spent putting kids to bed because I’ve just reached the point of exhaustion (aka…no more patience). It’s the times he gets up with a child in need because my insomnia is bound to keep me up for hours if I do it. It’s the mopping of floors and fixing of computer bugs and the encouragement to get out and get time for myself. It’s in the lack of complaint for the lack of meals I prepare since cooking isn’t really my thing. This weekend it was felt when I refused to try on needed maternity clothes because I’m sick of wasting money on something I’ll never use again and only need for 2 more months…and after some insistance I walked out with a new outfit and felt like a new woman.
This weekend to mark our 12th anniversary, we took one night and headed up to Sedona, the very place that years ago we opened our minds to the idea of a lifetime together. It was SO relaxing, a little cooler and great to be among some nature. It was good to reflect, destress and have conversations without interruption =) And while he really hasn’t lost ALL his romantic ways, in the end it doesn’t really matter…because I’d take the daily offerings of love over flowers, gifts and poetry any day.
One of these days I’ll have good pictures of us (aka…when I’m not 7months pregnant)…in the meantime here’s a couple shots from our New York City trip earlier this year…which reminds me, I need to blog that…hmm soon? =)
DISCLOSURE…I KNOW shouldn’t do this because he HATES any type of public raving about himself…but since this blog is also for record keeping honey, you will just have to deal, our boys will learn so much about being great husbands from you and I’d like to keep a written record of it every now and then. SMOOCH!